A no flaws relationship

“A no flaws relationship”? Yeh right.. You know those people who claim that their relationship is perfect and they have never had a argument! The truth is no relationship is perfect so don’t be reeled in by those who draw you into a false sense of security!

I will be the first to say that my relationship isn’t perfect and there has been tears, tantrums and break ups In the last 8 years! Do you know why? Because we are human! Despite all our relationship has been through I would not be the woman I am without my other half! I have had to learn the art of compromise, I have had to grow mentally into a woman as being a little girl would no longer cut it if I wanted my relationship to be a success! But boy oh boy has it been a roller coaster of a ride (with no seatbelts) for our relationship to get to where it is now!

I was willing to compromise but not when it came to my worth and that was extremely important when entering a committed relationship. I had robust expectations from any relationship I would enter! I must say though this wasn’t always the case!

I would say around the age of 18/19 I learnt some really tough lessons about who I was and what I wanted in a relationship.. I entered my first relationship very young and although some would say this wasn’t serious, which in hindsight I would agree with, I am sooooo grateful for the bitter sweet experience!

I met what I thought was my first love within my local area, he was your typical ‘bad boy’ some one who was very popular amongst his group of friends and I was considered to be lucky to be with him, when I look back I really bent over backwards to accommodate his needs financially and emotionally at the cost of my own integrity! This is no fault of his own as anyone in his position would capitalise off a girl who was new to this relationship stuff and was willing to accommodate all his needs! Anyway fast forward a few years, “Dooms day” arrived I call it this was every girls worst nightmare!

I was walking down my road with a friend when a girl approached me stating that she had been seeing my “boyfriend” for sometime, not only that we shared the same name and lived on the same street YESS you heard right, we had the same name and lived on the same damn street LOL! To further add salt to the wound as we both looked down we noticed we had identical key rings that he had brought us both from holiday (matching.. How cute) what an absolute joke! Now I laugh as something like this could and would only happen to me! Well anyway despite all this I forgave and we continued in a relationship for some months, during this time he was still messing with us both and some how I ended up talking him into staying in this relationship despite what he had put me through over the years! My heart had been shattered, broken and trampled on several times over but each time I told myself it was what I was doing wrong and go back!! I couldn’t see a life without him so instead I put up with a lot of rubbish! I would say I endured this treatment for around 3 years, where I perceived myself as inferior, I would often assess how I could improve myself and mould myself into the “girl” he wanted me to be and compare myself to this other girl rather than to embrace who I was. Now when I look back I laugh and think you stupid cow, it’s almost like watching a movie shouting at the TV saying get a flipping grip girl, only I was the girl!

Now this is a really summarised version of events and my main purpose for this is to let you know we all go through this S#%t and it feels like the end of the world it really does! But ladies it will be the making you! So, all hail the cheaters everywhere LOL! No but jokes aside, please take away the good from a bad situation and use it as a template for what you expect in a relationship! Flexibility in a relationship is key! YES! However girl…. YOU are a good catch! I think this is one of the reasons me and my other half hit it off instantly because he was aware of my expectations and i didn’t mince my words, I was now a very self assured woman who knew what she wanted, such a transformation from previous years! He to was self assured! He was a man that was comfortable with who he was, there was no ego, he did and does allow me to be who I am and Is in absolute support of all my ventures! He’s amazing!

But like I said my current relationship didn’t come without its issues at the beginning either! It’s like life just likes to throw curve balls just to see if I can handle life on Earth lol! Anyway that story is one for my next blog “How I met Papi”

Please share your experiences of crazy relationship experiences so I don’t feel like a complete alien LOL!!

Food for thought: Ladies sometimes we get ourselves into situations when we know what the outcome will be whether negative or not (we are all guilty) when I love I love hard! If you’re the same its so important that you don’t short change yourself when it comes to “relationships” and what YOU deserve! You know what you can bring to the table in a relationship so always assess the situation from the outskirts before delving in headfirst! Any one entering your life should be complementing it! Even for those who have been with their partners forever and a day it’s so important that your expectations remain in sync, because sadly things change, people change which result in a change of expectations!