Inside The Mind Of A Boy Mum/Mom

So I’ve had the pleasure of collaborating with the beautiful Mannie Nanni and her gorgeous little boy Adam on my latest post! Ive had so much fun working with her to put this blog post together and I think it’s one that so many boy moms/mums can relate to.

If you want to see more of the lovely Mannie please follow her on Instagram at: www.instagram.com/relissacharae

It’s crazy to think I’m a boy mum of two!! I always imagined myself having a little boy and a mini version of me with perfectly matching nails, going on Shopping dates and girly adventures.. Instead, I am standing at the side of a football pitch freezing my butt off thinking “Is this life”. Haha! That being said I am both my sons biggest cheerleader and they make me so unbelievably proud. Nearly 4 years into being a boy mum I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.. boys are extremely loving! And you cant beat conversations with a 3 year old who wants to celebrate his willies birthday because it “Growed” a bit. 😂😂

However, I will always consider what it would be like to be the mother of the bride, the realisation that I may never get to be a birthing partner to a “daughter” and one day when I am old to do anything who will wipe my butt and tie my hair up for me. But most importantly I hope that in a world where men are expected to be as hard as steel, my boys will always feel they can talk to Mummy about their troubles.

OK , so my kids are 3 and 3 months old! BUT I can’t be the only boy mum that has thought about these things! It’s not quite the same being the mother of the groom! I would’ve loved to have had that rush of emotion when I saw my daughter in a beautiful white dress as she prepared for the biggest day of her life.. instead I will be sat in “anticipation” as my son walks out the fitting room in a suit that looks exactly the same as the the last 5 he tried on but in a different colour.

I wonder if my daughter in laws will want to have me in the birthing suite when they give birth or if I will be that Grandmother sitting outside in the waiting room, listening anxiously for the cries of my precious grand-child. Honestly, I long for a good relationship with my daughter in laws. I hope to be some one they can look up to and confide in. I only hope that they’re not total bitches and my son has good taste in women haha!

I bet I sound so harsh right now! But this is in the mind of a boy mum so I have to be honest!

Finally, as a man I honestly feel that there is so much pressure on them, to be the bread winner, to protect their family and to be a macho man. Although I will raise both of my sons to provide for their family and stand on their own two feet. I really hope that my sons never feel that weight of the world on their shoulders and that they have emotionally strong women to pick them up when they are down. Because the truth is I won’t always be around.

Mannie, since you had your little man 7 months ago.. What are the things that go through your mind as boy mom?

“Do I really wish I had a girl like everyone asks me even though I say no? Who am I raising my son to take care of and love when he becomes an adult? Am I hurting my son’s privates when I hold him on my leg or hip? Is it just me or is the girl’s clothes section WAY bigger than the boy’s section?

Welcome to our male dominated World! Let’s start with the first question we constantly ask ourselves. Do I really wish I had a girl like everyone asks me even though I say no? At least for me, deep down inside, I always knew I was destined to be a boy mom. I am adventurous in spirit and I just always had this feeling that I was being prepared to raise a boy. So when I heard the news that I was having a boy I was naturally thrilled!

Who am I raising my son to take care of and love when he becomes an adult? From the moment I felt him alive and kicking in my stomach, I began thinking about the woman that he may someday be going on this journey of giving birth with. How he would treat her and take care of her. I immediately felt an obligation to show him how to stand by a strong independent woman, and how to support and love her for who she is.

Am I hurting my son’s privates when I hold him on my leg or hip? While I don’t have pediatric confirmation of this, I have convinced myself this is a solid no, and that baby boys are strong dudes. Feel free to enlighten me here, but I hold my son for the most part as if he were a girl in multiple different positions. Although every once in a while my brain sneaks in a questioning thought as to whether he is in pain, but then my little guy gives me a reassuring smile, and my mind is again at peace.

Is it just me or is the girl’s clothing section way bigger than the boys?? You really don’t start to notice this until, you have a to dress a boy. Although every time, I walk in to a store my mind immediately goes into shock mode at the fact that there are 500 super cute girly items while the boys have about 10 pieces which mainly say “cool dude”. And then disappointment sets in, and like a superwoman in the night, my mind immediately rescues me and says, That means more for us girlfriend!” (Mannie Nanni, guest blogger)

Mothers, tell us what goes through your mind as a boy Mum/Mom. We’d love to hear your thoughts.. ❤️

OMG! I have kids, my life is over

“Apparently your life stops when you have kids”

If I had a £1 for every time someone said to me “ohhh you best have all your fun before you have kids”. Or “you can’t do that you have two children now” I would be a rich mofo sitting in a gigantic castle bathing in champagne. Honestly the ignorance and tunnel vision of some people is barbaric.

I told some one that I had plans to go on holiday, their reply “With your kids, good luck”. Now these types of comments only serve to inspire me more to achieve everything I wish in life with my two gorgeous boys right by my side.

NEWS FLASH MAMA’S: Your life is not over because you’ve had children, in-fact your life is just beginning.

When I was pregnant with my first I was completely oblivious to what was to come and it’s crazy that I actually started to believe everything the “Debbie Downers” told me, so much so that I was quite down in my first/second trimester of my first pregnancy. I was a 22 year old girl who was just starting out in life.. drowned with thoughts and anxieties that this baby would act as a complete burden on my life.

Now I’m here to tell you, that although my life has totally transformed with two children, in that my house never stays tidy, I constantly have a headache, I’m constantly picking up mini boxers and I’m accustomed to conversations about willies and poo. I am able to pamper myself, go on girly outings, have date nights, leave the house (after 4 hours of getting the boys ready😂), I’m able to get my eyebrows done and have me time.

Because the truth is self-care is so extremely important. Looking after yourself is looking after your kids. Now this may sound completely controversial, but when I hear parents say. “Aslong as my kids have everything, I don’t care about myself”. I completely disagree. Why should you now neglect yourself because you have children?

Now right now I sound like a complete hypocrite as I treated myself to 4 tops and a pair of jeans today and had a complete meltdown so I ended up spending loads on my kids to counteract the guilt! But honestly this is a cycle that both you and I have to break!! I was never like this with my first child but with child number two I have suffered what they called “Mum guilt” however I’m currently approaching the phase of “fuck this sh%t “I’m going to buy those shoes! What’s the worst that can happen..

I understand that some people do really struggle with the concept of having children and how much responsibility these little humans are (who don’t come with a damn manual) and it can be so overwhelming in the early stages.. I was someone who suffered with baby blues/borderline post natal depression. However it’s like with anything you have to allow time to adjust, and get to know these little people, it’s like blind dating! (OR CATFISH IF YOU EXPECT A BABY WHO IS WELL BEHAVED AND SLEEPS THROUGH THE NIGHT BUT INSTEAD YOU GET A KID WHO SCREAMS WHEN YOU LOOK AT THEM). I digress 😂

But honestly, a lot of people say to me “I don’t think I’m ready to have a child” my advice is you will never be 100% ready but you adjust and make it work.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Our kids should serve as our motivation to want more from life not spell the end of it. Buy those shoes, book that holiday and most of all!! FORGET WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY! Because none of those people are feeding , clothing or housing you or your children.

With Love From P ❤️

Abuse: Talking To Your Child

Hey Lovely’s,

I wasn’t scheduled to do another blog post until Friday. However yesterday I put a post up on Instagram about talking to your child about abuse “The Pants Rule” and I had an overwhelming response in my messages with questions about the Initiative that NSPCC introduced in 2016.

So the main principle is to help protect your child from abuse. NSPCC provide a really fun way of explaining by incorporating a dinosaur by the name of Pantosaurus. The website provides, videos, games , fun activity packs and a downloadable app. Talking about such a sensitive subject with a child can be difficult. However these resources really makes it a fun learning experience for both you and your child.

That being said I just want to do a quick post with information about “talk pants”. My son is 3 years old and the video and resources that are on the site helped me significantly in explaining abuse to him. To check out the website please CLICK HERE

I hope you find this helpful.

With Love From P.