To the Mummy’s of The world, I hear you, I feel you and I’m with you! You’re not the only Mama who has five shades. I’m sure you can definitely relate to 5 shades of Mum.
The impatient mum
Ahh I turn into her at least 16,54577677 times each day. It normally begins around 8 am. After I’ve told my 4 year old to eat his breakfast for the 20th time, after my 7 month old has razzed around in his walker pulling every single clothes item off the clothes horse. After I’ve watched a gallizion episodes of paw patrol and those damn dogs saving the world. After my 4 year old has back flipped and accidentally fly kicked me in the head. After I’ve tidied up and noticed crushed up biscuit smeared on the floor complimented with a cup full of juice.
And this all usually before 12 pm. The impatient mum normally returns when it’s time to leave the house. Suddenly my 4 year has lost one sock and ability to put his shoes on disappears. He chooses to ask what the meaning of life is as I’m rummaging through my bag looking for my car keys. I open the front door to leave after 3 hours of battling with two little humans and my 7 month old decides he wants to do a shit *back in we go*
And as you know, this continues into night time. My son becomes thirsty, hungry, he’s dying, he’s scared of the dark, the monsters under his bed are going to swallow him whole.
The guilty mum
The guilty mum is my arch enemy as she sneaks up on me out of nowhere and questions my parenting. I’m the guilty mum when I leave my newborn in the front room and step outside the door to have a cry because I don’t know how to comfort him. Im the guilty mum when I scroll through Instagram for 15 minutes instead of dedicating my time to my children. I’m the guility mum when I ask my oldest to watch my youngest while I load the washing. I’m the guilty mum when I ask my 4 year old to be quiet for 5 minutes so I can function. I’m guilty because when my kids go to bed I eat my sons Ice lollies and teddy bear crisps. I’m guilty because wish I could dedicate more time to my sons education and development. The guilty mum you are a bitch and you make me feel incompetent at times. But I embrace you because I know I’m doing my best and I love my children unconditionally.
The loving Mum
The loving mum is the woman I wish I could be every second of every minute of everyday. I am happiest when I am her. I am her when I kiss my boys and watch them sleep, when I cry uncontrollably because they’re mine. I am her when I question what I possibly did to deserve them. I’m the loving mother when I lie in bed with my 4 year old snuggled up telling him all the reasons why I’m proud of him. I’m the loving mum because my love for my boys is inherent and I need them way more than they’ll ever need me. I’m the loving mum when I see the innocence in their eyes and I have the overwhelming feeling to protect them! I’m the loving mother when they tell me “Mummy I love you”
The sassy mum
The sassy mum is the one who visits least, but when she arrives she does it in style. She pulls all the stops out for herself and doesn’t give a flying &#@£% what anyone else thinks. I’m the sassy mum when I have an hour long bath with coconut oil, candles and a glass of wine, I’m the sassy mum when I book myself In for a facial and a pedicure! I’m the sassy mother when I plan a girls night out, lashes, Lippy and 6 inch heels with not a care in the world. I’m the sassy mum when I become P and not Mummy for a weekend, I’m the sassy mum when I spend a couple of hundred in Zara without feeling guilty because I DESERVE IT. I’m the sassy mother when I put myself at the forefront of my world just for a minute. And finally the sassy mum tells people where to stick it with their judgey comments and unwanted opinions.
Sassy Mum you’re my girl and I’ll never let you go.
The survival mum
I have been the survival Mum since the minute my boys were born. It started when She had her c section and She was in agonising pain. It continued when her baby didnt latch and her nipples were bleeding. The survival mum cried for the first seven days after birth because baby blues slapped her in the face like Jackie chan. The survival mum stood strong through the acid reflux, the colic, the teething, the lack of sleep, loneliness and lack of identity and normality.
The journey of the survival mum continues when her child starts school and she cries uncontrollably at the school gates. Will my child makes friends, will he get bullied, will he be able to carry his own tray of food at lunch time, will he tell some one if he needs help?
You see the survival mum, she has it pretty hard. She is in constant auto pilot as she knows she has to keep shit moving and keep a brave face on for her children. The survival mum often thinks fuck this shit and picks up her bag to go to Narnia, but responsibility hits her like a ton of bricks.
Cheers to the Survival mum, you’re strong , beautiful, inspiring, empowering, tired, fed up and emotional at times. But I love you, you’re the one who makes sure the kids are happy and healthy and the house isn’t burnt down. We appreciate you!
Cheers to the woman who has 5 shades