motherhood newborn parenthood toddlers

“Apparently your life stops when you have kids”

If I had a £1 for every time someone said to me “ohhh you best have all your fun before you have kids”. Or “you can’t do that you have two children now” I would be a rich mofo sitting in a gigantic castle bathing in champagne. Honestly the ignorance and tunnel vision of some people is barbaric.

I told some one that I had plans to go on holiday, their reply “With your kids, good luck”. Now these types of comments only serve to inspire me more to achieve everything I wish in life with my two gorgeous boys right by my side.

NEWS FLASH MAMA’S: Your life is not over because you’ve had children, in-fact your life is just beginning.

When I was pregnant with my first I was completely oblivious to what was to come and it’s crazy that I actually started to believe everything the “Debbie Downers” told me, so much so that I was quite down in my first/second trimester of my first pregnancy. I was a 22 year old girl who was just starting out in life.. drowned with thoughts and anxieties that this baby would act as a complete burden on my life.

Now I’m here to tell you, that although my life has totally transformed with two children, in that my house never stays tidy, I constantly have a headache, I’m constantly picking up mini boxers and I’m accustomed to conversations about willies and poo. I am able to pamper myself, go on girly outings, have date nights, leave the house (after 4 hours of getting the boys ready😂), I’m able to get my eyebrows done and have me time.

Because the truth is self-care is so extremely important. Looking after yourself is looking after your kids. Now this may sound completely controversial, but when I hear parents say. “Aslong as my kids have everything, I don’t care about myself”. I completely disagree. Why should you now neglect yourself because you have children?

Now right now I sound like a complete hypocrite as I treated myself to 4 tops and a pair of jeans today and had a complete meltdown so I ended up spending loads on my kids to counteract the guilt! But honestly this is a cycle that both you and I have to break!! I was never like this with my first child but with child number two I have suffered what they called “Mum guilt” however I’m currently approaching the phase of “fuck this sh%t “I’m going to buy those shoes! What’s the worst that can happen..

I understand that some people do really struggle with the concept of having children and how much responsibility these little humans are (who don’t come with a damn manual) and it can be so overwhelming in the early stages.. I was someone who suffered with baby blues/borderline post natal depression. However it’s like with anything you have to allow time to adjust, and get to know these little people, it’s like blind dating! (OR CATFISH IF YOU EXPECT A BABY WHO IS WELL BEHAVED AND SLEEPS THROUGH THE NIGHT BUT INSTEAD YOU GET A KID WHO SCREAMS WHEN YOU LOOK AT THEM). I digress 😂

But honestly, a lot of people say to me “I don’t think I’m ready to have a child” my advice is you will never be 100% ready but you adjust and make it work.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Our kids should serve as our motivation to want more from life not spell the end of it. Buy those shoes, book that holiday and most of all!! FORGET WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY! Because none of those people are feeding , clothing or housing you or your children.

With Love From P ❤️

24 thoughts on “”

  1. I never thought life stopped when you had kids. I went in with a fantasy of keeping a social life but just having kids with me. Sadly, with distance and time constraints I dont get to see my friends much. With me and my husband working, 2 kids- 1 in school and a toddler and working around the house, I dont have as much time as I’d like. I still make sure I get my occasional starbucks, I get my hair done and my brows waxed but I dont want to get new clothes because I’m in the middle of losing weight and that doesnt always turn out to be a good investment (I got a new pair of work pants a few months ago and they’re already sagging)
    I agree with you, if mommy isnt centered and is stressed out- it seeps out into the kids and her personal life. Taking care of yourself is important when you’re also taking care of others.

    1. So nice to see other mothers that are living their lives and taking care of themselves.. Go you on the loosing weight I wish you all the best on your journey! Thank you so much for reading ❤️

  2. LOVED this post – I’m 21 with a 5 1/2 month old and everyone said the same to me. No one expected me to take to it and seem surprised that my partner and I still go out and have time for ourselves. You don’t have to let go of your past self you just have to plan in advance. Amazing post x

    1. Awww thank you so much for reading! I love that you’re still living your life as a lot of mothers think their lives are over! I love that you proved everyone wrong!.. totally agree about planning on advanced! Thank you so much for reading

  3. Mama!! Yes you hit it right on the nail!!! This is said to me ALLLL THEE TIIIMMMEEE. Ugh. I shared this on my FB too. I always say it may add some new turns in your life both bad and good but it’s never a life of “impossible” adventures.
    Thanks for this. Great read.

  4. Love this article, I have a 10 month old son and for the first few months I was so anxious that leaving the house was such a massive deal but I’ve learnt that life with a baby goes on as normal just with a lot more organisation and a lot less sleep!

    1. Totally agree hun! My son is Nearly 3 months old and I get anxious about leaving him but I know it’s a must that I have me time to stay sane 😂😂 but I agree that organisation is key and sleep is anything! Thank you so much for reading.

  5. Love this post! I try to show new moms how possible it is to bring your kids out with you and still have a social life. It’s definitely not rainbows and unicorns every trip out but hey at least we are getting out of the house to have some fun.

  6. I LOVE this post! So many people are always shocked that my husband and I still do so much with our little girl. We always said we didn’t want to stop living and wanted to provide her with as many different experiences as we could. She is ten months old and we have already been on three big vacations and just booked a trip to take her to England for her first time. Now, yes I may be nervous for that long flight but that isn’t going to stop us from doing things with our little girl.

    1. That is amazing 10 months and 3 big vacations. I love it. A woman after my own heart ! You’re coming to England, I’m from England.. it will be a pleasure to have you here. I love your outlook on parenthood.

  7. I never liked it when people imply having kids is the worst thing ever. Lucky for me, I am surrounded by people who think having kids is a blessing. Keep following your heart and go on lots of adventures with your family! 😉

  8. Loved this!!! Just because someone has kids doesn’t mean their life is over. Yeah, you don’t get to do as much as you use to, but you get to experience a ton of new things. As your kids get older, it’s more rewarding to experience something new with them because of the excitement you see in them rather than get drunk every weekend. Lol

    Self care is extremely important also!! I’m just barely getting back into self care. I get my hair cut more often, face masks, long baths while hubby watches the kids, and just something that makes me happy such as blogging. Lol I love your posts girl!! ❤️

    1. I agree with you that it’s really rewarding, I can’t wait to experience life with them as they grow older.. yupp getting drunk every weekend is definitely a thing of the past 😂. Thank you so much for your continued support x

  9. When I receive these unsolicited words of “wisdom” that is so “lovingly” bestowed upon me by the many women in my life, or even complete strangers – it angers me. Life isn’t over, with kids. Life is more challenging, but it is also more fun. You can still do the things that you used to do, you may need a babysitter for some things or you can include the kids, depending on their age and the activities.

  10. Things definitely change once kids are in the picture, but I 100% prefer my life with them! I think that people who make odd comments regarding my kids either can’t relate or just want to make small talk and I try not to take it personally.

  11. Whole-heartedly agree! People seem to make the weirdest comments about parenthood and just. so. judgy!! That’s probably one of the most difficult parts of parenting- maintaining your own sanity while others berate the way you do things. Taking care of yourself is vital, though. If momma ain’t happy, those sweet little angels (or devils, depending on the day) aren’t going to be happy. I’ve always believed that when you are able to take care of yourself, you’re much more capable of taking the best care of your kiddos.

  12. I wrote a post similar to this. Life doesn’t have to stop or become complacent because you have a child. A child just enhances your current life. You can still do things you did before, you just have to plan differently and better. My son adds so much to my life. I can’t imagine life without him and he’s not even two months yet.

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