“Apparently your life stops when you have kids”
If I had a £1 for every time someone said to me “ohhh you best have all your fun before you have kids”. Or “you can’t do that you have two children now” I would be a rich mofo sitting in a gigantic castle bathing in champagne. Honestly the ignorance and tunnel vision of some people is barbaric.
I told some one that I had plans to go on holiday, their reply “With your kids, good luck”. Now these types of comments only serve to inspire me more to achieve everything I wish in life with my two gorgeous boys right by my side.
NEWS FLASH MAMA’S: Your life is not over because you’ve had children, in-fact your life is just beginning.
When I was pregnant with my first I was completely oblivious to what was to come and it’s crazy that I actually started to believe everything the “Debbie Downers” told me, so much so that I was quite down in my first/second trimester of my first pregnancy. I was a 22 year old girl who was just starting out in life.. drowned with thoughts and anxieties that this baby would act as a complete burden on my life.
Now I’m here to tell you, that although my life has totally transformed with two children, in that my house never stays tidy, I constantly have a headache, I’m constantly picking up mini boxers and I’m accustomed to conversations about willies and poo. I am able to pamper myself, go on girly outings, have date nights, leave the house (after 4 hours of getting the boys ready😂), I’m able to get my eyebrows done and have me time.
Because the truth is self-care is so extremely important. Looking after yourself is looking after your kids. Now this may sound completely controversial, but when I hear parents say. “Aslong as my kids have everything, I don’t care about myself”. I completely disagree. Why should you now neglect yourself because you have children?
Now right now I sound like a complete hypocrite as I treated myself to 4 tops and a pair of jeans today and had a complete meltdown so I ended up spending loads on my kids to counteract the guilt! But honestly this is a cycle that both you and I have to break!! I was never like this with my first child but with child number two I have suffered what they called “Mum guilt” however I’m currently approaching the phase of “fuck this sh%t “I’m going to buy those shoes! What’s the worst that can happen..
I understand that some people do really struggle with the concept of having children and how much responsibility these little humans are (who don’t come with a damn manual) and it can be so overwhelming in the early stages.. I was someone who suffered with baby blues/borderline post natal depression. However it’s like with anything you have to allow time to adjust, and get to know these little people, it’s like blind dating! (OR CATFISH IF YOU EXPECT A BABY WHO IS WELL BEHAVED AND SLEEPS THROUGH THE NIGHT BUT INSTEAD YOU GET A KID WHO SCREAMS WHEN YOU LOOK AT THEM). I digress 😂
But honestly, a lot of people say to me “I don’t think I’m ready to have a child” my advice is you will never be 100% ready but you adjust and make it work.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Our kids should serve as our motivation to want more from life not spell the end of it. Buy those shoes, book that holiday and most of all!! FORGET WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY! Because none of those people are feeding , clothing or housing you or your children.
With Love From P ❤️