The irresponsible mother

So, as some of you may know I am 2 months post baby and as mentioned in my last blog, I’ve really struggled with the concept of “Me time” and accepting help from others. So much so that my friends started to worry about me. They have witnessed how much hard work my new born is and have seen a side to me they are unfamiliar with. I think I’ve been quite worried about myself and have come to the conclusion that I’ve had baby blues for the last month or so, which I’ve brushed off as lack of sleep.

In my group of friends I am the one who plans all the girly outings, dinner dates and holidays.. so it comes as no suprise that my girls are keen for me to get back to my old self. But I thank them dearly for putting up with my ass for the last 2 months, actually make that 11 months as I was a total bitch during pregnancy too 😂

Anyway one of my girls managed to get me out last night.. I was bit sceptical as I didn’t feel even slightly ready to get ‘dressed up’ and go out! I felt like I’d be the fat friend amongst a group of Victoria secret models, I felt as though all the pressure of sucking in my stomach would result in me passing out in the middle of the dance floor 😂 it just all seemed too much.. BUT I agreed!

Of course my next dilemma was what to wear..

Here I stood in my bedroom, in just my underwear with heaps of clothes around me. With the boys (my 2 month, 3 year old and hubby) all lined up on their stomachs on the bed ready to commentate on my choices of outfits. Accept they didn’t say one word, I think for fear that I may bite their heads off, stomp around the house and refuse to go out. So Instead they smiled sweetly and told me how beautiful I looked in every single outfit. (Bullsh&*t I thought in my head). 7 outfits later, 3 pairs of heels and 4 (yes 4) make up adjustments, I was ready! I had my cutest LBD (little black dress) and some killer heels

When I arrived at the venue I was overwhelmed by the amount of adults and grown up conversation, probably because I had spent the last 2 months watching Paw patrol, teletubies and being excited when the post man arrived to have a quick conversation, while I signed for my parcel! I knew it was bad when I started waiting at the window for my other half to get back from work! (Anyway I digress).

Meanwhile I could hear my embarrassing friend saying “Look how good my friend looks she just has a baby two months ago” each time I would suck my stomach In and lose my breath that little bit more!

But honestly I had an amazing night, I danced the night away, had a couple of glasses of wine, I laughed, I smiled, I sung my little heart out.. It dawned on me that it was exactly what I needed, I felt myself again.. “Just what the doctor ordered”

What was meant to be a 2 hour outing turned into me returning home at 3:30 am in the morning! (Some-one call the Mummy police) I swanned in with shoes in my right hand and purse in the other. I didn’t feel guilty about it, one bit! I felt GREAT!

Well that was until reality hit me like a ton of bricks. I woke up to a less than impressed newborn and a 3 year old who decided to run around like lunatic shouting “Catch me if you can” I have a banging headache and I am absolutely knackered.

Well…. back to Mummy mode!

Food for thought: As mothers, society teaches us that we must stay in with our children 24/7 cook, clean and dress in a particular way. I say forget all of that, be who YOU want to be, live and enjoy your life.

A message to mothers with young children, please schedule yourself some “me time” I promise you’ll feel a whole lot better, (although you’ll probably call home 10,000 times to check on baby). So wipe that baby sick from your top and swap the nappies for a glass of wine.. And NEVER feel guilty for giving yourself the time you deserve!


  1. Wild Sage
    May 14, 2018 / 8:27 pm

    Need a pic of the shoes at least your my motivation….. the mummy police had me feeling bad but now I’m excited 😘

  2. Karla
    May 14, 2018 / 8:51 pm

    Yes, mami’s getting her groove back 👌🏾! Great read as always x

    • May 15, 2018 / 3:22 am

      I have indeed LOL! (Well trying amongst the chaos of having kids) Thanks for reading

  3. May 15, 2018 / 3:02 am

    If you don’t mind, I copy/pasted and showed this to a girl I know who just had a baby.
    I think this is a pretty good message. I’m 2 years post 2nd baby and finally working on getting over trying to fit in to the mommies around here (I was 23, have tattoos, piercings, listen to rock/metal and am a proud witch- the ones around here are older moms, conservative, religious, no body modifications etc)
    I’m also a highly creative person but flighty (and a bit of a ditz…) so I have trouble focusing on staying on task.

    • May 15, 2018 / 3:21 am

      Thank you for your lovely comment. No please share away! It’s so important that we remain true to ourselves and I’m sure I’ll get judged for going out when my baby is so young, but do i care No? GO YOU. I love your individuality and the fact that you’ve accepted you’re not like them. There is so much pressure on us to act a certain way. I am also really ditzy LOL! My friends and family tell me all the time HAHA. Creativity is amazing, make the most of such a talent. ❤️

      • May 15, 2018 / 3:37 am

        I’ve been trying to figure out how to fit in to that type of crowd, but when I heard people talking about church playdaates and such, I realized I’d never fit in unless I changed in ways I cannot change (I do not believe we choose our spiritual paths) so I looked to see if there were any local Facebook groups and found one for Pagan parents and one for pagans locally- joined and they’re talking playdates. I hope something works out with that, I hardly have time for anything with my job and my husband’s job.
        I started bleaching my hair when my 7 year old was little and people joke that the blonde went to my roots. lol
        I was born to be blonde (seriously, I look better and more natural as a blonde than brunette)
        I consider ADHD to be a gift- I look at it as being highly creative and not as a disability (even though my attention span and memory are crap to a really bad degree).

  4. Good job for getting out! I totally understand your line about watching paw patrol for months and then chatting with the mailman. I pretty much talk every adults face off every time i go out to run an errand because im just starved for human contact! Lol

  5. Katie
    May 16, 2018 / 8:02 am

    I need to take a leaf out of your book I’m constantly feeling guilty about my girls and taking new adventures for myself xx happy mummy happy home xx

  6. May 16, 2018 / 1:48 pm

    I can totally relate to this! I had such a hard time getting out after I had my son. But once I did it was the best! Thanks for sharing!

  7. May 16, 2018 / 2:32 pm

    Yes you are right i need to schedule me time. Thank you for the advice

  8. May 16, 2018 / 7:07 pm

    Wow this friend seems like a perfect friend 😂, proper good influence.

    What a great message for mothers and showing that everyone can be different. Children should not stop anyone living!! They are the greatest gift but mothers are still people! Chin up all you mothers out there and have plenty of days of – self-care is so important xx

  9. Jody Rogers
    May 16, 2018 / 8:58 pm

    This is great. I find when I take time for myself I can be a better mama when I return and so it benefits my children as well as me, which makes me feel less guilty!

  10. May 17, 2018 / 1:20 am

    I wish I would have been able to have some free time when my kids were little. Now as they are older its hard having an unsupportive spouce when I ask for time with friends.

    • May 17, 2018 / 6:04 am

      Aww I’m sorry to hear that hun! “Me time” is so important even if it’s an hour away. Get the girls to come to you x

  11. May 17, 2018 / 1:21 am

    I love this. We go out dancing or clubbing once a year together and we have the best time. Reality is the worst in the morning but time away is totally needed!!! Sounds like we should consider a babysitter for the hangover- haha.

    • May 17, 2018 / 6:06 am

      That’s brilliant that you schedule “you time” I love that. We definitely pay the price in the morning 😂 a baby sitter doesn’t sound like a bad idea at all.

  12. lisajakesmomma
    May 17, 2018 / 12:08 pm

    It is so important to spend time on yourself when you are a mom. I remember after my son was born (he was about 2 months old) my parents watched him and my husband and I went on a date. It was the weirdest feeling. We didn’t know what to even talk about. SO much revolved around the baby!

    • May 17, 2018 / 3:57 pm

      Haha I remember being exactly the same with our first born, our first days consisted of talking about the baby, so much so that we ended up just going home 😂

  13. mrsgdontquit
    May 17, 2018 / 1:47 pm

    Wow that’s amazing that you were able to get away like that. I wasn’t able to do that until my daughter was a year and half because I breast fed and needed to be with her 24/7. You are blessed!

    • May 17, 2018 / 3:56 pm

      I know I’m really lucky that I was able to have some me time. I agree that breast feeding is really demanding but for an amazing cause. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to do it for long. Thanks for reading.

  14. June 3, 2018 / 11:44 am

    I felt the exact same way after I had my baby… I love this post…

    • June 3, 2018 / 7:28 pm

      Thank you so much for reading hun. And I think so many women go through the same thing ❤️

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