A no flaws relationship

“A no flaws relationship”? Yeh right.. You know those people who claim that their relationship is perfect and they have never had a argument! The truth is no relationship is perfect so don’t be reeled in by those who draw you into a false sense of security!

I will be the first to say that my relationship isn’t perfect and there has been tears, tantrums and break ups In the last 8 years! Do you know why? Because we are human! Despite all our relationship has been through I would not be the woman I am without my other half! I have had to learn the art of compromise, I have had to grow mentally into a woman as being a little girl would no longer cut it if I wanted my relationship to be a success! But boy oh boy has it been a roller coaster of a ride (with no seatbelts) for our relationship to get to where it is now!

I was willing to compromise but not when it came to my worth and that was extremely important when entering a committed relationship. I had robust expectations from any relationship I would enter! I must say though this wasn’t always the case!

I would say around the age of 18/19 I learnt some really tough lessons about who I was and what I wanted in a relationship.. I entered my first relationship very young and although some would say this wasn’t serious, which in hindsight I would agree with, I am sooooo grateful for the bitter sweet experience!

I met what I thought was my first love within my local area, he was your typical ‘bad boy’ some one who was very popular amongst his group of friends and I was considered to be lucky to be with him, when I look back I really bent over backwards to accommodate his needs financially and emotionally at the cost of my own integrity! This is no fault of his own as anyone in his position would capitalise off a girl who was new to this relationship stuff and was willing to accommodate all his needs! Anyway fast forward a few years, “Dooms day” arrived I call it this was every girls worst nightmare!

I was walking down my road with a friend when a girl approached me stating that she had been seeing my “boyfriend” for sometime, not only that we shared the same name and lived on the same street YESS you heard right, we had the same name and lived on the same damn street LOL! To further add salt to the wound as we both looked down we noticed we had identical key rings that he had brought us both from holiday (matching.. How cute) what an absolute joke! Now I laugh as something like this could and would only happen to me! Well anyway despite all this I forgave and we continued in a relationship for some months, during this time he was still messing with us both and some how I ended up talking him into staying in this relationship despite what he had put me through over the years! My heart had been shattered, broken and trampled on several times over but each time I told myself it was what I was doing wrong and go back!! I couldn’t see a life without him so instead I put up with a lot of rubbish! I would say I endured this treatment for around 3 years, where I perceived myself as inferior, I would often assess how I could improve myself and mould myself into the “girl” he wanted me to be and compare myself to this other girl rather than to embrace who I was. Now when I look back I laugh and think you stupid cow, it’s almost like watching a movie shouting at the TV saying get a flipping grip girl, only I was the girl!

Now this is a really summarised version of events and my main purpose for this is to let you know we all go through this S#%t and it feels like the end of the world it really does! But ladies it will be the making you! So, all hail the cheaters everywhere LOL! No but jokes aside, please take away the good from a bad situation and use it as a template for what you expect in a relationship! Flexibility in a relationship is key! YES! However girl…. YOU are a good catch! I think this is one of the reasons me and my other half hit it off instantly because he was aware of my expectations and i didn’t mince my words, I was now a very self assured woman who knew what she wanted, such a transformation from previous years! He to was self assured! He was a man that was comfortable with who he was, there was no ego, he did and does allow me to be who I am and Is in absolute support of all my ventures! He’s amazing!

But like I said my current relationship didn’t come without its issues at the beginning either! It’s like life just likes to throw curve balls just to see if I can handle life on Earth lol! Anyway that story is one for my next blog “How I met Papi”

Please share your experiences of crazy relationship experiences so I don’t feel like a complete alien LOL!!

Food for thought: Ladies sometimes we get ourselves into situations when we know what the outcome will be whether negative or not (we are all guilty) when I love I love hard! If you’re the same its so important that you don’t short change yourself when it comes to “relationships” and what YOU deserve! You know what you can bring to the table in a relationship so always assess the situation from the outskirts before delving in headfirst! Any one entering your life should be complementing it! Even for those who have been with their partners forever and a day it’s so important that your expectations remain in sync, because sadly things change, people change which result in a change of expectations!

With that being said.. Repeat after me!!! “I AM A STRONG WOMAN WITH HIGH EXPECTATIONS!!” “I KNOW MY WORTH AND I WILL NOT COMPROMISE”

30 Comments

  1. Mindy
    May 1, 2018 / 5:26 pm

    What a great read! I think nearly every girl has been through something similar. It’s definetely character building! Can’t wait for the next read x

  2. KDH
    May 1, 2018 / 5:46 pm

    What a strong woman you are!! Xx

  3. Wild Sage
    May 1, 2018 / 6:09 pm

    Can’t wait for when I met papi
    Great read

  4. May 1, 2018 / 10:14 pm

    Loveee this post, so much truth and keeping it real. Every relationship is different and unique. The generation of today relies on social media and thinking what they see is real!!

    Keep it up.

    • May 2, 2018 / 8:42 pm

      Thank you for taking the time out to read! Social media plays a huge role in the disruption of relationships!

      • May 21, 2018 / 9:46 pm

        I think if my partner had social media i would definately feel differently!

  5. May 2, 2018 / 1:20 pm

    This is great for anyone to read 🙂 thanks for sharing your experiences! I know it will help those who are feeling kind of down about themselves after a break up or really just when they’re down on themselves. 🙂

    • May 2, 2018 / 8:35 pm

      Thank you so much for reading! It’s so important that we know our worth and are reminded! I hope this will help some one feeling down.

  6. emgottberg
    May 2, 2018 / 1:33 pm

    Love this! “YOU are the good catch” is so important to hear! I am married to my college sweetheart, but that didn’t come without challenges, fights, working through hard times, and just remembering the love between us! You’re so right- everyone goes through hard times! Thanks for your honest post!

    • May 2, 2018 / 8:37 pm

      Thank you for reading, and appreciating my experience! How amazing that you married your college sweetheart! So nice to hear your fairytale ending! X

  7. Stephanie
    May 2, 2018 / 5:26 pm

    Been there. Thank God I am way past it. More girls need to read this post! So o will be sharing it. And you are really strong for handling all of that 🙂

    • May 2, 2018 / 8:38 pm

      Thank you so much for sharing hun! If I can inspire and uplift at least one person, my job is done! Thank You for reading! x

  8. babyfatblogging
    May 2, 2018 / 8:28 pm

    Relationships are tough! It’s so important to realize that they aren’t perfect, but the right one will feel perfect! Thanks for sharing!

    • May 2, 2018 / 8:40 pm

      I totally agree! When you’ve met the one it just “feels” right! Thank you for reading!

  9. May 3, 2018 / 6:21 am

    This is probably the truest thing I’ve read in a long time. Every bit of it. I loved this and can’t wait for the next one!!

  10. alunderfullife
    May 3, 2018 / 10:28 am

    I love how you are able to look back on something like this and turn it into a learning expereince. I also wish all women would hold their self worth to such a high value.

    • May 4, 2018 / 5:28 am

      It took me years to reflect and learn from the situation! Hoping I can empower other women to do so. Thank you for reading!

  11. May 3, 2018 / 11:43 am

    This is a great read! It’s tough going through relationship struggles. Thanks for sharing your experience! I look forward to reading more!

  12. May 4, 2018 / 12:23 pm

    This is such a sad thing you went through hun. Some men are just … pigs. But I am so glad you learned from it and finally got out!

    • May 4, 2018 / 1:19 pm

      Thank you so much! And thank you for taking the time to read! X

  13. Tadpoles And Mud Puddles
    May 4, 2018 / 12:27 pm

    I’ve only had two real relationships. My first boyfriend was a such a close friend I couldn’t see when he wasn’t happy. When he broke up with me I was crushed and it took me a year of self-care and love before I could even think about another man. Then I ran away to the other side of the world and met the love of life. The end of that relationship was the worst and the best thing that could have happened. I would never have met my husband if it weren’t for him.

    • May 4, 2018 / 1:18 pm

      What what an amazing story!! So glad you got your happy ending Hun and have met your soul mate ❤️ Some of the hardest relationships are the making of us! Thank you for reading X

  14. justbusylovinglife
    May 4, 2018 / 2:06 pm

    Unfortunately relationships have not been good to me. I am currently going through a divorce. I have always been one to love and love hard also and I lose myself in the process. I tend to always put the other first and in my marriage, I found myself living a life and in a location I didn’t even want. All to please him. Our entire marriage was me making him happy. When I finally expressed what I wanted for my life/our life, he had us leave and comes around every other weekend to see the girls. His career will always be most important to him. It really sucks because I realize I have always done this in friendships and relationships. And now I have to stop and focus on me.

    • May 4, 2018 / 2:15 pm

      I’m so so sorry you’re going through this Hun! One thing I will say is don’t change who you are! You can walk away from your marriage knowing you contributed 100% so I hope that gives you peace of mind! You’re extremely inspirational and from what I have read you come across as really caring! You will find your happy ending!! Time to concentrate on number 1

  15. kariebabbitt
    May 4, 2018 / 3:54 pm

    I think we all go through something similar…even after 29 years of marriage crap still happens. All we can do is be in charge of our own happiness and be strong and figure out what we were supposed to learn. Ugg! Best of look and loved the realness of this writing.

    • May 4, 2018 / 5:41 pm

      Yes it is so important that we take charge of our happiness! Thank you so much for reading x

  16. jessicacmckenna
    May 4, 2018 / 4:01 pm

    Love is so complicated! I don’t know if I will ever truly understand but I just bought myself the “Love Languages” book and will be reading it to wrap my head around how my hubby and I communicate. We love each other dearly but are not without our issues – how we show and express our love is so different, but at the end of the day, we each really do want the best for one another. It took a long time for me to find my hubby and I’m so glad I did, but the work on the relationship is long from over. I hope that you find your someone special but most of all, I hope they truly appreciate you for who you are!

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