So in “A no flaws relationship” I spoke about my relationship journey up until this point!
I have been with my other half for 8 years now! I was extremely apprehensive about entertaining a new relationship due to my previous experience but as previously explained I learnt alot of lessons for which I knew would set me in good stead for any new relationships I entered..
How did we meet:
It really makes me cringe to tell the story, I met my other half in……… a club *Rolls eyes* So rewinding all the way back to 9 years ago, I remember this was one of the first times I had been to a night club so I was high on adrenaline and the thought of “Adulting”. I remember being in the club approximately 5 minutes before I locked eyes with a tall, slim build, self-assured man who had huge puppy dog eyes. As our eyes met it literally felt like there was no-one else in the room, like he walked down from Heaven, he was HOT (sounds so cliche) I know! He approached me at the bar and as I was about to order myself a drink he asked me to buy him one and handed me a £10 (which is roughly $13). Bear in mind the drinks were around £8. So I purchased his drink and handed it to him, to which he replied “Can I have my change?” WHAT, you have the cheek to ask me to get you a drink, only buy yourself one and THEN!!! Ask me for your Damn change! The cheek 😂😂 However, for some crazy reason it made me giggle, as it wasn’t the usual cheesy chat up line, “can I get you a drink” or “can we be friends”
Towards the end of the night, he asked for my number. However as I had not long ended my last relationship I wasn’t looking for anything serious, so I replied “I’ll take yours” he handed his number with a cheeky grin on his face!
A few weeks past by and my friend kept onto me to text him. So eventually I did and we just hit it off from there! For the next few months we spent time getting to know each other on a deeper level! We just clicked, I loved his company! He gave me a sense of ease! It just seemed to good to be true!
IT WAS TO GOOD TOO BE TRUE! (If you have read my previous blogs you will know that nothing is straight forward with me)
I was sat at home one afternoon when I received a call from a number I did not recognise, on answering it was a female who claimed that she had been in a relationship with him for years! (OH GREAT, JUST FLIPPING GREAT). Another asshole I thought in my head! Of course as soon as I spoke with her I got right on the phone to him to confront the situation and of course he denied it! At this point I called off the entire thing as I learnt from my previous relationship that my self worth was paramount! I found this so difficult as he was like my best fiend, we spoke everyday!
Fast forward a few months, I moved to a new city, to start University! Ahhh a fresh start away from all the rubbish! SO I THOUGHT, this was so so far from the truth!
I was sitting in a lecture when I heard a girl who had a similar accent to me “Great” some one I can connect and make friends with, a home from home comfort! A really bubbly and enthusiastic girl approached me asking to go for lunch. As we sat down, she asked my name, as I muttered my name, she looked as though she had seen a ghost, she began to lose colour in her face, she froze! At this point I was so puzzled! “You are the girl”, “the other girl” she shouted! I immediately realised that this was his “girlfriend”. At this point I too began to feel dizzy and quite Nauseous!
HOW THE HELL!!! DID WE MANAGE TO END UP IN THE SAME CITY (3 hours away) IN THE SAME UNIVERSITY, ON THE SAME COURSE AND IN THE SAME CLASS….. REALLY!
You know that hole I’ve spoken about in previously blogs, that big black hole! I wanted it to swallow me up, never to be seen again! After the initial shock of the irony, coincidence and “ridiculousness” (I don’t even know if that’s a word but it’s so fitting”). She confessed that they were no longer in a relationship and hadn’t been for months, however she had found the break up extremely difficult as he was her high-school sweetheart! At this point I felt a range of emotions, I was angry, frustrated, shocked and upset! I really related to this girl as I really felt the pain she was feeling given that I had been through something similar recently! However I was annoyed with myself as, he was right, they weren’t in a relationship!! Had I messed up something good instead of taking his word for it!
That evening I decided to swallow my pride and give him a call to iron things out and to lecture him for not telling me I would bump into her! Over the next few weeks we began to talk and re kindle what we had, however it was quite the opposite for the relationship I had with her as she became the bitter ex! In some ways I would say she ruined part of my uni experience as she became confrontational and aggressive! Through it all I don’t hate the girl I totally relate to her, it’s so unfortunate that in the end she dropped out of university for reasons I am unaware of! But I honestly wish her all the best!
8 years on, I am now with what I would describe as the love of my life! Two children later, an engagement, a home and a ton of dirty washing! Our relationship is nowhere near perfect and there have been times where I have wanted to call it at day, however we are so in sync with our relationship aspirations that we will not allow that to happen without a fight! I would say that now is a really trying time given that we are on baby number two who is very high maintenance, however we have a solid foundation and our relationship is based on Teamwork!
My advice to you is that you may have “Kissed a lot of frogs” but your Prince Charming is on the way! What you may class as your fairly tale may appear in a completely different form to what you expect, like it did for me! If it feels right then persevere! Never under estimate the power of a woman’s initiative!